A Passage to India by Em

Ta-ta, bye, gone

2010-07-14T04:00:00.003+05:30

It's two weeks since we left India. In our first days in England, Seth walked around saying 'ta-ta Ambassador, ta-ta tuk-tuk, ta-ta Apple Kids, ta-ta chapatis, ta-ta Ammu....', listing all the things he didn't see any more. Then it became 'ambassador: ta-ta, bye, gone...'. He hasn't forgotten them, but he talks about things in India less and less (tractors are the new tuk-tuks). India does seems far away, and much longer than two weeks ago. Of course Ollie is writing his book, so his head is still there.

The familiarity of England was wonderful, and here in Holland we are enjoying the order, and fresh air and how clean everything is. It's not an adventure though, and the last six months were certainly that. There was so much to take in on every walk to the shops or the school run, every meal such an event, barely anything was familiar. I need the big open skies of Holland and a bike to be able to think and feel less overwhelmed by that crazy, wonderful, frustrating and captivating country of India.

This is the end of regular posting on this blog (I'll be starting again in September, at doble M), as my short passage to India has come to an end. Maybe I'll post from time to time, when I have reflections or stories, or make a collection of photos, but this is really where the blog stops. It's been fun! Thanks for following. Ta-ta, bye, gone.

One last biryani

2010-07-14T03:20:00.002+05:30

Kayees is the best place in town for a biriyani, and was our choice forour final lunch in Fort Cochin. It's a shabby joint, on a bustlingjunction that crosses the Gujurati Road. Every day Kayees is packed outwith mostly men sitting a long tables in the cramped rooms, or waitingaround in the entrance for biryani to go.

There is effortless colour coordination, with black laquered diningchairs set against a retro jade green wall. Stainless steel platespiled high with rice are slapped down on the table with a smaller plateof poppadoms, a jug of water with stainless steel cups. It's no frillsall the way, but the biryani is just perfect.

As it was our last day, I asked if I could take some photos out at the back. The rice is cooked in huge vats, four or five were on the go, but they run out most days by about two o'clock. The kitchens and storage area make good photos, but I couldn't bring myself to take a picture of one corner which was literally crawling in rats. It kind of spoilt that last biryani, the thought of rats running over the vats of veggies.

Seth happily wolfed it down!

With all our running around (finishing up jobs, packing, tea at Kashi owners, Dorrie and Anoop's amazing home, goodbyes at Sui House) we'd worked up another appetite, in time for dinner at Dal Roti with our good friends Cristelle and Ravi, and baby Ishaan. Bo had even more attention than usual from owner Ramesh, and it was a really happy way to end our time in Cochin. We ran back to Delight Homestay in the rain to catch a few hours sleep before our early flight out.

I'm ashamed to say I left India in a really bad way - shouting at a security guard. Six months of frustration vented on some poor chap. Mumbai airport finished me off though. There were so many silly little rules and all the security staff were so incredibly unhelpful it was like they'd sat down and planned how to make it as inconvenient as possible. I was totally exhausted by it. I was through to the last stage and unloaded all our handluggage onto the security belt, collapsed the pushchairs and added them on, while holding Bo. Seth wandered off somewhere, so I was told to go and get him (men and women are separated for the security checks, and children go with the mother), then they added that I'd put my things on the wrong belt. Why they couldn't have told me that as they stood watching me unload them? Seth was now running all over the place, so they told me I had to hold him as well. So there I was, holding a boy on each hip as I lugged our stuff over to another belt which was crowded with people, none of which would let me in. I asked the staff (there was a group of them hanging around) if someone could help me please as it's very hard to move everything while holding two children. Blank faces. Please, can't you see I'm struggling here? The it's not our job answer came back..... ok, fine. I fought back the tears as I bent down with Seth and Bo and picked up our things one by one.

Seth's last chapati and Bo after falling asleep while eating spinach curry. The food on Jet Airways was great.

I went through the body check to the final stage. One of my bags had been stopped and put on the floor for checking, and they just left it there. I asked if they could check it so I could go and get some food for the boys. Nope, they did everything else but attend to my bag. That's when I started to get annoyed. I really, really needed to go now and they seemed to be just winding me up. Eventually a guy came over and asked me to empty the contents. It was a big bag of kids stuff for the flight, cars, puzzles, toys, books. Loads of stuff. He went over ever single item, turning it over in his hand, asking me what it was, doing it so slowly, as if in slow motion. I was getting agitated and asked if he could please hurry up as our flight was now boarding. He replied 'You are irritated'. I felt like screaming YES I AM IRRITATED!!! In fact, maybe I did actually scream that. It all got a bit messy then as he kept repeating to me that I was irritated and with each time he said it I became more and more irritated. Ollie, meanwhile was standing around the corner, praying that I wouldn't get thrown into a Mumbai prison! He'd had his moment earlier, getting onto the bus between the domestic and international airports. It inconveniently has steep stairs, and then a tiny narrow gap between the row of seats for passengers and their luggage to squeeze down. He was lifting our bags up, and pulling up the boys in the Maclarens. There was a man standing there by the entrance to the bus watching this spectacle, not helping of course, and Ollie, frustrated, said loudly to him (so the whole bus could hear) what is your job exactly?'. He turned out to be the driver.

Not a very graceful way to end our India trip.

Back soon

2010-07-09T03:03:00.001+05:30

The blog's not over quite yet, I'm just ill. Again.

Last day in Cochin

2010-07-01T16:41:00.004+05:30

Months of scrabbling around trying to think of things to do, yet our last day we were running around doing things we hadn't got around to. We booked Jitu and his tuk-tuk for the day. We dropped off Bo at Sreeja and Usha's (his face beamed when he saw them) and Jitu doubled up as childcare for Seth as he played in the tuk-tuk as we went off for dental appointments and stopped to drop off or pick up things around town.

I had been intending to have my photo taken in a sari, and typically left it until the last day when I barely had a minute free. The owner's wife at Delight dressed me and took this terrible photo (didn't even manage to get my feet in it) of me just after I'd been soaked in the rain. Ol didn't even get to see me as he'd gone off to meet a deadline on an article. I really liked the feel and look of wearing a sari, shame it was over so quickly. I had to take it off and keep going with my to do list. I woke Seth up before his nap was finished, picked him up and stood him outside to lock the door and his legs were still sleepy and he fell on the floor. Oops. He fell back and cracked his head on the corner of the wall. Oops. Blood started pouring out of his head, so I crossed five things off my list and was frantically putting ice and cloths on the cut to stop the bleeding. Agh, such a terrible mother.

Seth, his hair matted in blood (he screamed so hard every time I tried to clean it) and I walked down to Idiom Books to sort out our packages to be sent to Argentina. In India they wrap parcels in cloth and handstich them before posting. We'd set aside most of our books to be sent, so I wandered down to check the final weight and price. A whopping 33 kilos worth! So we ended up sorting through them and selling a big pile of them to Idiom, and we hope the rest do actually make it to Buenos Aires for our return in September.

Sethie and I went for a last wander around Jew Town. This is Synagogue Lane, with the Paradesi Synagogue* (built in 1568) at the end, and Seth at the water bowl where he liked to stop and try and catch the little fish. We then went to a Kashmiri shop to buy some gifts and see the view from their rooftop.

* Google Synagogue Kochi to see photos of the inside (cameras are not allowed, so I couldn't take any). I liked the interiors very much, with the old blue and white Chinese tiles on the floor and the smattering of chandeliers in clear and coloured glass hanging from the ceiling. I'm quite a fan of blue and white tiles and quite fancy doing a kichen all (I mean floor and walls) in mismatched Delft tiles (with everything else just plain white and wood), so I visited the synagogue several times just to see the floor and lighting.

Kickball & tapas

2010-07-01T15:47:00.000+05:30

Malabar House had a World Cup Tapas Fest, so we went there to see England get thrashed. Sethie calls football 'kickball'. The six course tapas with a tasting of Indian wines was of far more interest to me than the football. Seth fell asleep after the full-time whistle blew, and Ollie joined him about a minute after this photo was taken, so I wrote in my journal as I finished off the tapas and wine. Seth's godmother and our great friend, Macu, gave us a family travel journal for Christmas, so I've been keeping that alongside the blog, just for our little family to read. On the subject of the World Cup, we heard so many people talking about Argentina, and apparently there were two cars driving around Fort Cochin decorated in Argentina's colours of blue and whit. Unfortunately we didn't see them...I reckon if we'd taken a photo, one of the Argentine newspapers would have published it.

Poolside calm

2010-07-01T15:30:00.001+05:30

We mostly went to The Old Lighthouse for the day because anything was better than being stuck in a small room all day. We didn't care about the rain, it was just good for the boys to have space to run around. After four hours there though, we were pretty keen for a break, so we put the boys in the Maclarens and went off for a walk hoping they'd fall asleep. We walked by the convent where my friend Katie is returning to help at later in the year, and down little lanes like in the picture below that I like so much in India. We saw this ghastly house, which must be the most ugly property in Fort Cochin.

The walk worked and - perfect timing - the clouds cleared, so Ol and I read and fell asleep in the sun for a hour. It was bliss.

Two men and a boat

2010-07-01T15:07:00.000+05:30

Hands on parenting

2010-07-01T14:44:00.000+05:30

Raindrops keep falling on his head

2010-07-01T13:23:00.002+05:30

It was with great relief that we made it back to England. It's all very well being relaxed with the boys, and taking them off to India when they're so small, but if something had happened to them I'm sure they're would have been plenty of 'told you so' looks. Mostly from Indians. I was constantly being told that Bo had the sun in his eyes, or that Seth was climbing on a wall, or that Bo was crying or (see photo above) that Bo was playing in the rain (the waiter insisted on standing there with an umbrella to shield Bo from the raindrops on his head). So I'm very grateful that none of us came to great harm and avoided any serious illness....and that I no longer have to field a constant barrage of comments about my parenting style! It's so good to be HOME.

Toy rescue

2010-07-01T13:13:00.000+05:30

Leaf fishing

2010-07-01T12:30:00.000+05:30

Thumbs up!

2010-07-01T11:42:00.002+05:30

Or as Sethie says: 'Tums up'.

Poolside lunch

2010-07-01T11:28:00.003+05:30

The Old Lighthouse Hotel have a Monsoon Day Out special. 500 rupees for a thali lunch (a stainless steel platter with small bowls with different dishes + rice and chapatis), a fresh watermelon juice and use of the pool. We went on Sunday and had the place to ourselves. This is Bo after stuffing his little face with thali.

Poolside dudes

2010-07-01T11:19:00.003+05:30

Poolside drinks

2010-07-01T10:56:00.001+05:30

Brides and Bridegrooms wanted

2010-07-01T10:08:00.000+05:30

The weekend Classifieds, Brides Wanted and Bridegrooms Wanted sections. Click on the photos to see a larger version.

Me and my Ambassador

2010-07-01T09:50:00.002+05:30

Take Seth down any road in India and he points out every Ambassador car he passes. There are Ambassadors everywhere, so each walk or drive we had a commentary 'Amasssshador, two Ambassshador, AMBASSSHADOR' and so on. For about four months he's been doing this and never tired of it. He had a couple of Ambassador drivers around Cochin who would let him hop up into the driving seat, so he was always delighted if we spotted Simon ('Man') or Sheshi. Here is Sethie on his last drive, clinging onto the the steering wheel and gearstick because we said it was time to say goodbye to the Ambassdor.

Monsoon greens

2010-07-01T09:38:00.002+05:30

Delight Homestay, where we were for our last weekend is the white house behind the big tree in the lower left hand photo. Malabar House, probably the best of several boutique hotels in Fort Cochin is the building behind where the boys are bathing and splashing in the puddles. The photos with lots of green in the foreground is taken from the Malabar House end looking down towards St Francis Church. It really is very pretty and tranquil, and has an exotic and colonial feel.

Monsoon skies over St Francis

2010-07-01T09:07:00.002+05:30

Lovely St Francis Church at the opposite end of the Parade Ground to where we were staying. The great Portugese explorer Vasco de Gama died in Fort Cochin in 1524 and was originally buried at St Francis Church, but his body was later returned to his homeland of Portugal. on Sunday, Ollie and Seth walked across the Parade Ground to join the Anglo-Indian community for the 8am English service. Me, I couldn't face the early start so Bo and I joined them afterwards for breakfast. Options were pretty limited, as Kashi is closed for the whole of June for renovations and staff holidays. Teapot is cute, but the staff are so grumpy we stopped going there. Elite Cafe is the backpackers favourite and is as grubby as you'd expect from the Budget section of the India Lonely Planet. We were longing for home and counting down the hours to getting on the plane.

Jet lagged

2010-07-01T08:32:00.001+05:30

It's 4am and Seth's up and perky , playing with his toy tuk-tuk and Ambassador. I feel sick with tiredness. If the next posts have lots of mistakes, blame my snooziness.

Monsoon!

2010-07-01T03:07:00.000+05:30

We had three weeks in the cool of Bangalore, where the climate is temperate and no need for air con (an aside: we're back in England and I'm really missing ceiling fans - the whirring and breeze is really very soothing). It was wonderful! Saturday, Sunday and Monday we were back in Kerala where the monsoon rains had turned Parade Ground into a giant puddle. World Cup fever had also hit Cochin and there were hundreds and hundreds of guys playing football on the Parade Ground, sliding in the mud and having a blast! It was an amazing sight, although we were less impressed they started playing at 6am.

Balch boys:1, 2 and 3

2010-06-30T23:27:00.001+05:30

The boys outside Cochin airport, on our return for our final weekend in Kerala. On Saturday the six Balch boys will be together, Grandpa, original Bo plus Seth and Bo's new cousin, little Ru. We've really missed our families, so we're excited about a summer in England with grannies, and siblings and cousins and nephews.

Bo the jolly traveller

2010-06-30T23:01:00.004+05:30

All smiles, as usual! Our boys really do come from a different place. They're both such easy and fun travelling companions though, and although having two tots 14 months apart, at ages 1 and 2 years, in India, wasn't always easy, they made it such a fun experience. Seth especially was so, so happy there. He didn't notice the things that drove me crazy (although last week he did stomp his feet and shout 'Stop!' at a group who were following him in the mall and trying to pinch his cheeks!) and the every day sights and activities were one big adventure. I'm sure Bo will miss all the attention too. All he's known, in Argentina and India, is people fussing over him.
For the next two months we're in Holland, England and Wales. I think small people adapt easily to new surroundings, let's hope so!

Seth the accomplished traveller and quiet observer

2010-06-30T22:54:00.000+05:30

Seth taking in Bangalore airport, on our way back to Cochin. I think we were all quite relieved we didn't make the train, although I'm a little disappointed we missed out on that experience. Maybe Ollie and I will return when the boys leave home, and travel around India by train... It would certainly be fun for Sethie and Bo to return to India when they're students and go back and see the places they were under two.

Cochin from Coggeshall

2010-06-30T22:09:00.000+05:30

I'm sitting in Coggeshall, the picturesque, serene village where Ollie grew up and looking at my previous blog posts and thinking that India was a pretty cool experience. Now I don't need to deal people hassling us all the time, the climate, the practicalities of having two tiny kids there, and I can just look at the photos, what an incredible place!

Back! to blog and Blighty

2010-06-30T21:36:00.001+05:30

We didn't have internet for our last days in Fort Cochin, so I have some blogging to catch up with. We're back in England! Everything looks so perfectly manicured and cared for, and where are all the people, and tuk-tuks and goats? Seth keeps saying 'Ambassador - no. Tuk-tuk - no. Chapati - no. Apple Kids - no...
('no' is accompanied by him pouting his lips, squinting his eyes and shaking his head.). So we're here, adapting, and I'll catch up on blogging very soon.

No room on the train

2010-06-25T19:51:00.002+05:30

Millions of people travel by train every day in India. Literally. But getting onto a train isn't actually that easy.
They're booked up months in advance. Just a small quota are left for tourist 'emergency' seats and these can only be booked three days before. They have to be booked online and the system opens at 8am, but you have to book by 8.01 otherwise they've all gone. Even if you make it this far it only gets you onto the Waiting List. If there is availability the booking will be changed to Confirmed, but this only happens three hours before. If you don't get on, you're stuffed. We didn't make it onto the list of Confirmed passengers. So we've just had to fork out for four flights to Cochin tomorrow morning. I'm a little bit relieved, although our bank account could have done without another hit. Ollie and Seth are heading to the train station now to reclaim our money. Every last rupee counts!

A question of colour

2010-06-25T15:09:00.001+05:30

I often wonder if Indians are naturally perfectly colour coordinated.Or is it just coincidence that they paint their shop door turquoise,which perfectly complement their display of yellow mangoes. Or perhaps our sense of which colours go together comes fromdesigners who found their inspiration in India?

Take this guy. Did he paint the wall and the scales that particular green because it looks so great with the aubergines, or they were just selling a tin of that colour cheap when we went to buy paint? I'll give him the credit, and it looked even better in person than it does on the in the photo.

Ordered veg

2010-06-25T14:54:00.000+05:30

Not by Seth, but veggies laid out neatly at a market stall at Dejavara Market in Mysore. Baby aubergines, ladies fingers, white radishes, capsicum, green chillis, ginger, carrots and green beans.

Doorstep lunch & last days in India

2010-06-25T14:39:00.000+05:30

Seth and Bo take the plates outside. Much more fun to eat with the staff than with Ma and Pa!

Yesterday we went for tea with Mrs Meera Menon, aunt of Ollie's school friend Danny. What a delightful lady! She was headteacher at Bangalore International School and was just back from staying with her friend Shashi Tharoor. I've read and enjoyed some of his work (he's written12 books), , and he's MP for Trivandrum, state capital of Kerala and campaigner for human rights. He also has a big following on Twitter. Meera has incredible skin, she looks so youthful, and a wonderful, warm smile. She and her daughter Sudha, laid out a big spread for tea and Seth literally stuffed his face with samosas, sandwiches, doughnuts, and squidgy chocolate cakes. Sudha is working on a really interesting project in Gujurat where women have set up community courts to deal with issues such as domestic violence, and a similar project here in Karnataka.

In the evening Ol and I had our first date in months, just a drink at a place with views across the city. Ollie had had an interview beforehand with a guy who is getting married in December. He and his mum were really very very cool. His Mum was wearing a bright pink sari and had grey short, short hair which is very unusual (all India women have long hair), and so striking. She's a medical doctor and he's a PhD in Physics from Boston University and both are involved in all sorts of different and interesting projects. The house had a 70s feel and at the front was a garden lit up by fibreglass lamps in the shape of rocks, and there were huge plants everywhere. I would have been quite happy to stay there chatting all evening, but I'd made a big fuss about a date with Ol so off we went!

Today is our last day in Bangalore. I've just been out and found some embroidered fabric to replace the waistband on a dress I bought in Bombay two years ago and was ruined at the dry cleaners, and to buy some wedding presents (can't say more about them as the brides and grooms read this blog). Then it's Peekaboos this afternoon to wear out the boys, and off to the train station we go. We're almost there!

We take the 9.40pm train from Bangalore tonight, arriving in Ernakulam (Cochin) at 10am tomorrow. We've booked for three nights back at Delight Homestay on the Parade Ground before flying out very early on Tuesday morning.

Three days left!

Seth and Ted

2010-06-25T14:11:00.000+05:30

Teddy is Seth's new best friend. He doesn't leave Seth, Seth doesn't leave him. Papa, Ammu, Macu, Hannah, Heather, Rene...they come and go, but he doesn't have to say goodbye to Ted. He puts him to bed, wakes him up, baths him, takes him for pee-pee, dresses him and sits him at the table to eat with us, and the rest of the time tucks him under his arm and takes him around with him.

I would love to have my very own Calvin and Hobbes, so this imaginary friend business is going to be encouraged!

The tired trampolist and Ted

2010-06-25T13:57:00.000+05:30

Return trip

2010-06-23T22:32:00.000+05:30

More photos from Mysore to follow, but first I want to finish up the day trip. We were in a two-tier carriage on the way home, which was much more pleasant and less claustrophobic. Seth had been strapped in the Maclaren for most of the day so, to use up some energy, he and Ollie had a pillow fight on the top bunk. Ol then dangled Sethie by his arms from the top bunk while I tickled him and he collapsed in fits of giggles.

We're taking a train again on Friday, overnight to Cochin, and unfortunately we have in a fully-booked three-tier carriage so we'll be sharing the bunks with two others. Poor them, especially as Bo has taken to screaming his head off before going to sleep every night (we just connected today that he's been crying hysterically for two weeks, and a fortnight ago we changed him from formula to milk, so maybe the milk isn't going down well. Switched him back for now, so let's hope that's sorted it).

Devaraja Market: colours of health

2010-06-23T19:34:00.001+05:30

Devaraja Market: blues, greens & yellow

2010-06-23T18:32:00.002+05:30

Devaraja Market: rainbow dyes

2010-06-23T18:10:00.002+05:30

Since I was small I have wanted to see these bright coloured dyes that Indian markets are famous for. We had two books at home that I used to sit and leaf through over and over again. One was a big A2 sort of size book called The World with a double page spread of photos from every country in the world. I used to look through it and imagine these exotic faraway places. The other was a smaller photo book called 'The Colours of India' with all sorts of photos of India grouped together under red, blue, green, orange, pink, purple, yellow, white. Maybe that's where my love of bright colours began. Both books had photos of these coloured dyes, but in all the markets I had been to I hadn't found them. Devaraja Market in Mysore always comes up in the photo credits so I really wanted to go before we left, in case I don't return to India. They were not a disappointment. The colours were amazing! So rich and intense, they couldn't be any stronger. Mixed with water they are used as paints, as one of the vendors demonstrated on my hand.

All the photos from Mysore are a mix of Ollie's and mine. Unfortunately it started raining just as we arrived at the market so we had to take pics quickly so our cameras didn't get soaked. There was such a great atmosphere at the market, bustling with friendly people, vendors working in family groups, shouting and bartering with customers. Photos are so limited in that respect. The smells, the interactions, the sounds, as well as the visual feast - this is the India I could fall in love with.

Mysore outtakes

2010-06-23T14:30:00.005+05:30

Thinking about leaving India next week. I won't miss this:

But I will miss these (mukhwas, Indian mouth fresheners made from fennel and anise seeds, some plain some sugar coated):

I forgot to put a belt on Seth, so Ollie tied up his trousers with the tie from a bin liner. Here's our little street urchin, erm, climbing in the restaurant.

Biriyani break

2010-06-23T13:54:00.000+05:30

Mysore Palace

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We really took to Mysore. It is more airy and clean than other Indian cities. The pavements are wider and tree-lined, and there are views of the surrounding hills. The Maharajas who ruled Mysore were committed to the arts and culture, and established a university. The main attraction is the spectucular palace, which is lit at night by thousands of lightbulbs.

We did an audio-tour but weren't allowed to take photos inside. If you're interested, google Mysore Palace images and plenty come up. The octagonal wedding room was beautiful and I sat on the floor to take in the ceramic tiled floors, clusters of columns painted in turquoise and gold, and the fabulous gabled stained glass roof.

The boys conveniently fell asleep for the tour of the palace and woke up to be hounded by the masses outside in the grounds. They were good sports, putting up with even more staring and cheek-pinching than usual. They also saw a camel and two poor elephants being dragged around a paddock with tourists on top, the only animals they saw (other than cows in the street, of course) as the zoo is closed on Tuesdays.

Bo beaming at a group of ladies peering into his pushchair

First stop: Masala Dosa breakfast

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Made it

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On a train to Mysore

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Our day began early, leaving at 6am to catch a three-hour train ride to Mysore. The train was such an adventure for little Seth, who installed himself in the window seat, tucked into his tiffin box, and climbed on the three-tier bunks.

Ollie and I took it in turns to snooze, me mostly because if shut my eyes I couldn't see the dirt.

Seth was chuffed to bits to be on a train, with places to climb and with his Papa. As we were walking down the platform at Mysore there was a commotion, with people crowded round three men fighting. It seemed one had stolen a bag. He was dragged off by the other men who seemed to be set on beating him up. Not a great first impression of Mysore, but from then on we really liked what we saw.

Working out

2010-06-23T08:19:00.000+05:30

Best way to get around India with a 1 year old and a 2 year old. Maclaren and Ergo sling.

Grinning from ear to ear

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It took some effort to say no to corn on coals AND this woman's beaming smile!

Waiting for Mum

2010-06-22T00:25:00.001+05:30

'The Silent Chef': the next Jamie Oliver?

2010-06-22T00:15:00.000+05:30

Or perhaps, The Silent Indian Chef, as he didn't chat and cook, but whenever I asked him a question he responded with a head wobble.

Sightseeing trip

2010-06-21T23:19:00.000+05:30

It's 11pm and I'm quickly posting some photos before I sleep. Very early start tomorrow. We're being picked in a cab at 6am to catch a 7am train to Mysore. It's three hours each way, and we plan to visit the palace which Mysore is famous for, the zoo (oldest zoo in India), and Devaraja Market, which is meant to be one of the best in India.

I vowed to go to bed early tonight but here I am, in the quiet, the boys asleep upstairs, and a man in the flat above us clearing his throat and spitting out the phlegm. That is one sound (and sight) I will definitely be rid of from next week. I still have to stop myself from telling men in the street how rude it is to spit right at (sometimes even on) my feet. I realise that is a cultural difference I have to get over... I did, however, shout at a man who started taking a piss next to Seth, Bo and me at the entrance to Sui House. He continued peeing all over the white wall and walked away completely unfazed by the crazy white girl telling him how inappropriate and rude he was! (I have less rage than I did in the first couple of months). I've been reading a book by an Indian about 'why we are the way we are'. I must post some extracts later in the week.

Oh, I must finish uploading photos and get some sleep.

Commercial Street (Bangalore)

2010-06-21T22:53:00.005+05:30

Worse than Oxford Street the week before Christmas

especially with two pushchairs, and most shops up or down a flight of stairs from street level

I imagine Ollie was looking enviously at Seth as he took this photo

Bo being measured up for linen trousers and a waistcoat (to wear to a wedding). Unfortunately the prices were too high AND Seth had diarrhea while being measured.... we cleared up, made a quick exit, and vowed not to return to Commercial Street.

Spicing it up on Commercial Street

2010-06-21T22:40:00.001+05:30

Me before this snack blew my mouth off! One was made from fried pulses and onion, which Bo happily tucked into, dipping each mouthful into the raita (yoghurt dip). The other was with vegetable and chilli and was the hottest thing I've eaten in India. Wowsers.

Banglemania

2010-06-21T22:29:00.003+05:30

Annoyingly, even though I have skinny skinny wrists my knuckles are too wide to squeeze into Indian bangles. There are hundreds of rows of bangles on market stalls running off Commercial Street in Bangalore. They're so striking, all displayed like that together.

Big shoes to fill

2010-06-21T22:25:00.000+05:30

One husband and half a book

2010-06-18T23:42:00.004+05:30

Ollie is due home in a few hours. That should be our last separation for three whole months, so I'm very, very happy. Even better, he arrives back tomorrow at 6.30am, just in time for when the boys wake up. I might even get a lie-in. Ol, I love you!!

One more week and Ollie will have completed his research in south India. I think it's gone well. His plan is to spend the summer writing (we're going to Holland for a month, then England) and then return to India in September to explore the north. Hopefully at the end of October he can join the boys and me in Argentina (we fly to Buenos Aires at exactly the time as he flies to Mumbai on September 13) and finish writing his book.

Latest photos from Ol here.

[More blue from Rajasthan. This time, Ollie in Udaipur. This photo was taken on our round the world trip, our treat to make up for him going off for 14 months to write the last book.]

If I write it on my blog, I have to stick by it

2010-06-18T23:18:00.001+05:30

This is not really important to anyone but me, but it's a little personal triumph....I haven't had a diet coke for two whole weeks. I think I've cracked the habit. Took me two years, but I've made it this far and I hope I never go back to drinking that horrid brown liquid. I've been guzzling fresh juices and green tea instead and feel clean and good, and I think (hearing aside), BETTER.

If I ever return to India...

2010-06-18T23:13:00.001+05:30

The previous posts give you a little taste of where we're staying. It's quite leafy and pleasant, but nothing like as inspiring as Fort Cochin with all its wonderful colours and architecture.

Of the big Indian cities that I've visited, Mumbai is my hands down favourite. Of course it's a mad, sprawling Indian city, but there's the sea which you can walk alongside, turn your back on the city and feel like there's some space to breathe and think. Mumbai also boasts some stunning Victorian architecture, we went to a couple of great galleries, and some very cool bars and restaurants.

Delhi has ancient monuments, mosques, temples and load of interesting markets. It's seeping in history and there are plenty of big open green spaces. I can't stand having to go in a car everywhere though, and it's so hectic and dirty and there's construction everywhere. Bangalore hasn't grabbed me at all. It's known as the best city for expats in India, but I think that's mostly about climate (it's cooler than most, and has a lighter monsoon than the other mega cities) and convenience. It is fairly easy to get what you need, and it's less alien than other places.

Today I was flicking through my neglected Flickr album and found some photos from our trip to India in 2008 (see here and here for some pics of us in Rajasthan, us looking a lot younger and healthier and 4 month old Seth looking like a little buddha). Ooh, I did like Jodphur, I'd love to go back there one day. The fort is so majestic and otherworldly, with views out over the blue city of old Jodphur, which surrounds the fort. If I ever return to India as well as returning to Rajasthan, I'd like to go to the Himalayas (we had hoped to go to Darjeeling where Ollie went for his Gap Year, but in the end it was too far), and nostalgic Calcutta. Although I have such a romantic picture of these places that maybe I should just keep them in my imagination, rather than be disappointed by the reality.

India hasn't charmed me, in the way it does some. But I could come back, for longer, if we had a purpose, a way of being involved, but just to visit and to take in India, nah, I think I'm done.

Juice-wallah

2010-06-18T19:48:00.001+05:30

Mango-wallah

2010-06-18T19:36:00.001+05:30

Pavement mechanic

2010-06-18T19:15:00.003+05:30

Brunton Road, our corner of Bangalore

2010-06-18T19:02:00.001+05:30

It's all very civilised in our immediate area, and there's this one street I can walk down before the chaos begins. Photos of that to follow! It's far more fun than houses hidden away behind walls and gates. There are few very cool trees though, like the one which sprouts up from the ground with very little trunk, like a wrist with long, spindly fingers sticking up into the air (see top right hand photo).

Two little monkeys

2010-06-18T15:05:00.003+05:30

Small bananas! Such a great snack and the boys munch through a bunch of them in two days. They probably even sell small bananas in Tesco these days, I'm out of touch, but they're not freshly cut from the tree that day, and I'm guessing not half as tasty.

Good hair day

2010-06-18T14:37:00.003+05:30

Seth had a hair appointment with me in the garden this morning. He here is feeling pretty good about himself, even while just wearing underpants. Bo, poor baby, is still pretty bald. I reckon he'll be two before he has his first haircut.

Whatyamacallit and oojamaflip

2010-06-18T14:24:00.003+05:30

Oops, the cook is called Cochumer, not Chorimer as I've been calling her for two weeks. Pronounciation isn't our strong point. Seth calls Rakesh, Aresh, Ganesh, Adsish, and I just asked him what's Sunil's name is and he shook his head and said 'no, no'. So I'm guessing that means it's too difficult to even attempt.

These photos were taken in the garden this morning. First one with the man with no name, and the second with lovely Cochumer.

Bedtime reading

2010-06-17T20:40:00.002+05:30

The owner of the house we're staying in subscribes to Monocle magazine. Tonight Seth fell asleep while flicking through a copy. Cultured boy, our Seth.

He's photographed sitting in different positions because I kept picking him up to put him in bed and each time he scampered back to the magazine, looked seriously at the page and fell asleep. Erm, until he fell off the seat and cracked his head on the marble floor... I was sitting next to him, drinking a glass of wine, so the staff ran out and looked at me. I could hear their silent tut-tut-tutting.

Bathtime India style

2010-06-17T20:01:00.001+05:30

Well, not really India style because the Indian style of bathing is to pour water over yourself using a jug and bucket. This is the Balch version.

Seth had bucket baths when we brought him to India age 4-5 months, backin 2008. He's never been a fan of water, but he does like his own spaceand now he sinks down into the bucket and stares at the wall,thinking... Fun bathtimes resume at Granny's house in 12 days time - with hot water and bubbles.

Ramblings from Bangalore

2010-06-17T16:59:00.002+05:30

I made a discovery today. Peekaboos. It's a kids play centre and, as Seth would say, Waaaaaah! Play cars, scooters, trucks and roads, houses, kitchens; a music area with different instruments; tonnes of books and puzzles; a ball pool, a big and very clean sand pit. The boys had so much fun. At approx £6 a time though we'll have to ration visits, but I know I can pull that out of my hat when I get desperate.

We went for a long walk this morning, over three hours. I'm not sure how far we went or where to, all the roads looked the same and I didn't find anything else of great interest. Two more great bread shops where I bought an almond croissant to snack on and quiche for tea.... the centre of Banaglore isn't very inspiring. I haven't seen one museum or market. I did buy a map today though, so maybe I'll find I've been stuck in D5 when really I should be in B3.

The traffic in Bangalore is crazy. It makes Delhi seem very serene and organised, and I thought it couldn't get worse than Delhi. To go anywhere I have to negotiate a junction where 15 'lanes' of traffic from three directions channel into one road, just at the point where I need to cross. There are no lights and there is no pedestrian crossing. So I wait until there are no buses in sight and stride out into the road, looking the oncoming drivers in the eye, and Seth and I stick our palms out and shout as loudly as we can STOPPP! It seems to work.

It always nice, in a new place, when you bump into someone you recognise or know. Remember the two old ladies who go to the nursery school because it's such a pleasant place? Well, one of them took a shine to Sethie and told me what a wonderfully behaved boy he was (he was the only child not screaming his lungs out). We keep meeting her in the grocery store and she stops and bends down and chats to Sethie like he's her grandson, and she's very concerned about me walking around weighed down by children. I must ask her name next time, she might be one of the few acquaintances I make in Bangalore.

But it's not a social desert. I've been invited out to a water park tomorrow with Gabi, who we had lunch with on Sunday, and her four boys. Gabi's also introduced me to a friend of hers, so maybe I can meet her next week. And on Saturday we're having tea with the aunt of Ollie's school friend.

Poor Chorumer, the cook, caught my flu and she returned to work today but could barely stand up and kept going for a lie down outside and sat to do most of her work. She let me watch her wrap her sari. Not how I imagined it would be done. First the sari is wrapped around the waist, but in a way that leaves the two ends loose. One end is thrown across the shoulder for the time being while the other end is pleated several times and then tucked into the waist. Then the other end is also pleated and finished off by going back over the shoulder. It was the pleating part that I hadn't known about, but that makes sense if there's 6 metres worth of fabric to use up. And so she glided off, sick, but looking fabulous in her dark green and orange sari.

Chorimer in her ordinary work sari

Out for a stroll

2010-06-16T22:17:00.001+05:30

I'm a cook down and a driver down, but I'm much happierthis way. I'm more comfortable strapping Bo on my back and pushing Sethin the Maclaren to go and buy groceries, and pasta still seems specialmeal after months of rice. I still have ear ache and am deaf in one ear,but yesterday the ENT specialist said it would take two months for myhearing to return. So from today I'm trying not to complain about it orfeel sorry for myself.

Of course, to be able to do this I needed a bitof retail therapy! Off we went to the nearest mall. They're truly horridplaces. But we had yummy smoothies, picked out some new books inCrossword bookshop, and I got a bit overexcited in Mango and now looklike I come from Spain rather than Kerala. That expedition exhausted usall, and after a lunch of pasta (yes, we'll happily eat it every meal)and roasted veggies we all crashed out and slept most of the afternoon.

There isn't a great choice of kids books, so the boys now have almost all the Dr Seuss and Eric Carle titles as they're the best of the bunch. All the ones we brought from England are stiched up in parecels at Idiom Books in Fort Cochin, ready for them to send to Argentina next month.

I'm so happy to feel well enough to walk that after playing with theboys and eating more food, onto my back went Bo and off we set for anotherwalk. Are you imagining us promenading down palm-lined avenues,cricket grounds on one side, shiny towers housing multinational ITcompanies on the other. Get that picture out of your head! Instead, think of a busyconstruction site. A dirty, dusty, noisy construction site with giant cementblocks rising out of an uneven mud floor, teaming with vehicles andpeople. That's more like the road we walk down. There is a pavement,but it's so uneven, made from rectangular blocks of concrete haphazardly stuck together. Every couple of metres there's a big gap so you can seethe black, stagnant, stinking water below. If you're lucky you mighteven see a rat.

So I walk on the road and dodge between otherpedestrians, rickshaws, cars and buses all of whom stare at me, or stop to pinch Bo's cheeks. At least there are no goats orcows in the streets of Bangalore. So it's a less than pleasant walk which leads to malls, Kashmiri shops filled with jewels, fabrics andpretty good tourist tat, and Brigade Road, the shoppingdestination of Banaglore and in my view even more ghastly than themalls. We'll need a weeks worth of walks on the hilltops of Nidderdaleto clear our lungs from the pollution and dust we inhale on thesewalks, but here are some reasons why I'll keep doing it:

1. I've lost so much weight from being ill, I might as well tone up withsome exercise, so a couple of 12 kilos on my back and 15 kilos to pushover rough terrain saves on gym fees.

2. A 2 year old has to know the difference between emeralds, sapphires andrubies, right?

3. It's a good way to practice numbers. Today we counted how many elephant wesaw. They're are models and pictures on everything so he should be ableto count to 100 by the time we leave. (On the downside, it's not greatfor his vocabularly as we see plenty of tuk-tuks, Ambassadors andbuses, and really, Sethie, conversation is pretty limited if all youtalk about is types of transport.)

4. Seth and I can sing at the top of our voices and nobody notices, hears or cares. We're such freaks to them anyway, why not?

5. Although this is the city centre and the roads heaving with traffic,there are countless carts selling food. They smell soo tempting! Corn cooking on coals, samosas, pakora, sweets and chai etc etc. Westop and have a look and one of these days I'll give in and we'll allget sick, like we did last time. They do smell so, so good though...

6. Bo falls asleep without fail. If he can nod off withthe racket of the traffic (and me singing) next to him, he should beable to sleep through anything.

7. On an 45 minute walk we pass at least 10 sari shops and I walk by andadmire. Saris, or sarees, as they spell it here, are so incrediblybeautiful. Not just the fabrics, which are stunning, but how it wrapsaround a woman's body. Indian women look so elegant in them and it'sone of the best thing about India, seeing women down the street in thewonderful colours and prints.

Reading through the list again, I'm not sure that's good enough reason to walk out into the chaos, but I'll go insane if I stay inside all day. Just two weeks to go and we'll be walking through a quiet English village and out into the open fields....

Ooo-eeee and me

2010-06-15T16:00:00.000+05:30

Sethie adores Ooo-eee, or Chloe, the dog at the house where we're staying. Today Seth came and said goodbye to me and said he was going out with Ooo-eeee.

I could hear his squeals of delight as he threw a ball to her and giggled his head off as she scampered back to him with the ball. I love this photo of Sethie laughing at his wow-wow friend.

Midnight Feast

2010-06-15T15:48:00.000+05:30

Principal Laxmi at Apple Kids would not be happy. Routine has gone out the window since Seth has been back in our charge. The other day he feel asleep at 5pm and woke at at 11.45pm. Here he is tucking into his midnight feast. And here's a vision of him age 18...

Modern art installation by Seth Sebastian Balch

2010-06-15T15:41:00.000+05:30

Seth ran to find me this morning, telling me to take a 'pictcha', and dragged me to the stairs where I found this!

I quite liked it!

Travel notes

2010-06-15T15:14:00.002+05:30

Ollie travelled by train to Bangalore from Vijayawada, the busiesttrain intersection in south India. It is also a major centre fordisplaced kids, travelling on trains in search of refuge. While inVijayawada Ollie visited two NGOs that offer homes and educationfor orphaned or semi-orphaned kids. One was a Catholic organisation,very well set up and funded by supporters in Italy. The other was asmaller group that my Dad worked with to set up a childrens home and a school.

One boy had been travelling on a train with his father and brother, looking for somewhere new to live. The mother had recently died. The train stopped at a station and the boy's father asked him to run out and buy a drink for them. While he was in the station buying a drink, the train left! He never saw his father or brother again and was alone on Vijayawada train station. He was found and taken to the orphanage. The other is of two brothers were Dalits, or 'untouchables'. Not only that but they were HIV positive. In many parts of India people still believe that you can catch HIV by touching, so these untouchable boys weren't even touched by other untouchables. Again, they were taken in to the childrens home and cared for.

Back in Cochin, a couple of weeks ago, I met one of the boys who has been at Cristelle's childrens home for several years. He was found on Delhi train station, alone and traumatised, about 6 years old. Two nuns found him and tooks them with them to Cochin, and once there found the home for him. They still really don't know where he was from or anything about what happened to him. He has grown into a mature, sensitive young man who is doing well in school.

As a visitor to India in 2010 it is relatively easy to miss the dire poverty and desperate situations that still very much exist. I certainly haven't seen much of it. Kerala is a communist state and there are very high literary rates, so poverty levels are lower than elsewhere in India, but even in cities like Bangalore the city centre has been 'cleared up' and the slums hidden from view. I've taken planes, not trains (although we will do one overnight train ride next weekend, from Bangalore to Cochin), so again skipped seeing the worst of it. And Ollie's writing about the prosperity and successes of new India, rather than the social challenges (which would probably be of more interest to him). I have huge admiration for people like Cristelle, and our friend Ebenezer in Vijayawada, selfless people who are like mothers and fathers to these kids from troubled or struggling families, and who live to give them a new start in life.

Ollie's off to the train station again this evening, heading off on a four day trip to Hyderabad.

Four corners of the earth in Bangalore

2010-06-15T14:22:00.001+05:30

My ear really, really hurts, so I don't feel much like blogging, or doing anything, including looking after two small children....

We walked to the Bangalore international church on Sunday, which meets at a hotel near where we're staying. Although there were about 250 people it was very family like, loads of kids, and everyone very friendly. They have a team of leaders, most of whom work for big corporates and who run the church in their spare time.
I prefered the overall style of the Delhi international church, but these truly international communities are still pretty special. There were all ages and people from every continent. We were invited back for lunch at the home of an English family, and it felt like a quite a treat. They have lived in Bangalore for 12 years, have four boys, two away at school in Ooty, and the 8 and 1 year old at home. Their house had a garden with a big trampoline, footballs, dogs, a rabbit, and in the boys den there was a big railway track and toys galore. Seth ran off when we arrived and was barely seen again until we left.We really enjoyed having some English company.

On wheels in Bangalore

2010-06-12T23:52:00.009+05:30

The odd thing about driving in Bangalore, I mean when Ganesh is driving us, not Seth, is that it can take 40 minutes to get to a place and 5 minutes to return. The city is a maze of wide one-way roads laid out in English style with lots of bends and turns. The problem with this is that the one-way roads have no parallel roads running in the opposite direction, like you find in a grid or block system. As a result we find ourselves going on a huge detour, often in a big circle to find ourselves at a point about 500 metres away.

Seth's backseat co-pilot

That's what happened today when we went to Koshy's cafe. It took us half an hour to get there, so we assumed we were in another part of town, but as we left the building we realise that we were right by MG Road, which is the top of Brunton Road where we're staying there. It would have taken us less time to get there if we'd walked. Mind you, the monsoon hit Bangalore today so being stuck in traffic than trudging through the rain. Seth the car fanatic couldn't agree more.

You're not serious! Bo and I are not walking anywhere... This is our car, baby.

Now I am one

2010-06-12T23:42:00.001+05:30

I can help with the cooking

...and I can car-surf! I love being ONE.

Chaos at Koshy's

2010-06-12T23:22:00.003+05:30

The boys, me and my bad mood went to out to Koshy's cafe this afternoon. Koshy's is something of an institution in Bangalore, and I suspect it hasn't changed much since it opened its doors in 1940. It reminded me of Leopold's in Bombay, which you'll know if you've read Shantaram.

It's a big space, and this afternoon there were only two empty tables. Most were filled with English-speaking Indians of all ages. The 70-something year old aunt of our half-Indian friend Danny has regular dates here, and on our visit we were seated next to a young smooching couple.

What a disaster our trip was though! For one I can't hear anything in one ear, so am talking even more loudly than usual, so there was constant shusshing from Ollie.

Seth looks carefully at the menu in every cafe we go to, runs his finger down the options, lifts his head up and says to the waiter every time, 'Agua!' Thanks to Seth there are waiters in South India who know the Spanish word for water.

We ordered a fruit salad and ice-cream for Seth, which was the one success of the afternoon.

In our rush to leave the house we didn't take anything for the boys. Koshy's isn't kid friendly at all, so once Bo had emptied the silver sugar bowl over the table, and Seth had done the same with the pepper pot they were both bored. Ollie ordered a beer. Bo knocked it over the floor. I turned to grab Bo as he dived towards the floor and dropped my camera into the puddle of beer.

Seth ran off and got lost in the room (he was found sitting on the floor gazing up at the fish tank). We asked the waiter for some steel bowls for the boys to play with. Bo threw his, impressively, to two tables away. Seth spilt his water over the rest of the table. We left.

Seth with Ganesh, our friendly driver

From Bangalore to Buenos Aires

2010-06-12T21:40:00.001+05:30

El Secreto de Sus Ojos, Terraza Malbec.......and (after six months ofbeing a vegetarian) dreaming of where I'll eat my first steak back in Buenos Aires in September.

Thinking of Argentina, I was quoted in the Financial Times last week, commenting on the up-and-coming neighbourhood of Barracas (where we live). You can read the article in full here.

Happy 1st Birthday Bo Benjamin Balch!

2010-06-12T21:28:00.002+05:30

Little Bo's 1st birthday was a washout. Poor him! I woke up with piercing earache and was in so much pain Mama was a bit absent for most of the day. We made an effort to go out to a soft play centre I'd read about, but it was a dingy, depressing place so we returned home, stopping at Breadworks to buy a rather pathetic effort of a birthday cake (chocolate and banana muffin).

By 5pm I was crying from the pain and I couldn't hear anything in my left ear so I ended up going to hospital where they gave me an injection for the pain and sent me to an ENT specialist. My ear is blocked with puss (nice) and I'm on antibiotics. If I still can't hear anything by Monday they'll operate to drain my ear.
There's no improvement yet. We'll do something cheery as soon as I'm better, but here are some pics of our little smiler on his first birthday. The pics aren't great quality, but you get the idea....he was happy as always!

First birthdays are a big deal in India, I guess because there's such a high infant mortality rate. We were more accutely grateful for Bo turning one as good friends of ours lost their little boy, who was two months older than Bo, to cot death. Other good friends who, like us had had two miscarriages - and had an exhausting nine rounds of IVF - welcomed a baby girl into the world today. Ollie meanwhile returned on Bo's birthday with some moving stories from orphaned children in Vijayawada, which I will mention in my next post. So we celebrated Bo's birthday thinking of the fragility of life and happiness.

Home help

2010-06-11T02:04:00.004+05:30

I was looking forward to pottering around the kitchen here in Bangalore, and doing domestic chores (that's what living in one room with no kitchen does to you). But the wonderful flat we've been given for three weeks comes with four full-time staff. I shuffled around them awkwardly for the first days, but now I've given up on making a risotto or using the kettle, it's really very comfortable.

So here they are, the wonderful staff of Brunton Manor.

Rakesh is the house boy. He's a superstar, mostly for his knack of noticing everything. Where we put our phones,which book we noted down a number in, where Seth hid my hat...
Rakesh alsowon't stop tidying up. The boys take out all their bricks to play, we nipto the bathroom, return and back the bricks are in the box. Rakeshspends most of the day following me around clearing up our mess.

Sunil is the brother of Rakesh, or assistant house boy. Rakeshhad an operation three months ago, so Sunil has come down from theirhome state of Bihar to help Rakesh. He has a one year old son, like Bo.He seems to be mostly in charge of the dog, Chloe.

Ganesh is the driver. There are two cars and a scooter, so he has plenty of driving to do. As the man with the motors, he is Seth's favourite, and will look up at Ganesh with pleading eyes until Ganesh caves and let's Seth have a go in the driving seat.

Chorumer is the cook. She's just lovely and floats around in abeautiful sari, making me cups of tea, freshly squeezedjuices and delicious Indian food.

Seth, unlike me, is entirely at ease with the issue of Staff. It took him no time to work out who does what. He knows who will make him a chapati, or who to ask to clear up if he spills his juice. He stands and waits for Sunil to arrive in the morning and asks him to make Mama a cup of tea (well trained, my boy). He certainly bosses them around, but there's no upstairs downstairs with Seth. Today he took his plate and went outside and joined Rakesh and Sunil who were sitting on the floor eating their meal.

They're obsessive about coasters in this house, and I've just noticed that Sethie even took his coaster outside and put it on the floor under his plastic cup. Where did this neat, comformist child come from?!

I was asking yesterday about the languages they speak. It'scomplicated! They all have pretty basic English. The mother tongue ofRakesh and Sunil is Magahi, and they speak that between themselves.With Ganesh they speak Hindi. Ganesh's mother tongue is Telagu, but athome he speaks the mother tongue of his wife, which is Tamil. He alsospeaks Kannada, the local language of the state of Karnataka (of whichBangalore is state capital). Chorimel is Keralan, so she speaks Malayalam.She and Ganesh can sort of understand each other if she speaks inMalayalam and he speaks in Tamil, and she communicates with Rakesh and Ganesh using Kannada. Makes my struggle with Spanish seem very pathetic.

Sethie understands Malayalam pretty well, and he has several phrases and words he says regularly. Little Bo has three Malayalam words, for 'give, give' when he wants something and 'come here' when he's walking, and called Usha 'Amma', that's mother. Oops!

Technical hitch

2010-06-11T00:24:00.000+05:30

Photos are taking forever to upload. When I've sorted out the problem I'll add pics to the latest posts.

Breadworks

2010-06-11T00:22:00.003+05:30

I have yet to explore Bangalore, but I did discover anawesome bread shop called Breadworks. I'm a bigfan of Indian breads, paratha, chapati, roti, iddli, dosa, poori, nan,they're all scrummy, but the bread used for toast is awful. It's processed and really sweet.

So yesterday, after a trip to Breadworks, was I happy to break open a crusty,French style loaf and smear it with Lurpack and Marmite.Aaaaahhhhhh... I gobbled the whole loaf.

School test drive

2010-06-10T23:54:00.001+05:30

A beautiful Jacaranda tree, and a garden full of toys and activities,and even the rooftop spa weren't enough for me to put Seth in FirstSteps Nursery for three weeks. It looked so promising on arrival. Therewas a big garden space, shaded by the Jacaranda in its full purplebloom, and the kids were free to roam around and play. There werehouses, and double seat swings, painting boards, a low table where theycould roll chapatis, a covered reading area. It was wonderful! erm,apart from the 60+ kids that were running around screaming their headsoff. I'm not exaggerating, they were all crying and didn't stop thewhole time I was there.

It was the first day without parents, so I'd been warned it would be alittle chaotic. I can handle a bit of chaos, my house is chaos most ofthe time, but other kids crying? No way. They say it's fine to hearother children crying as it's not your responsibility, but I don'tagree. If my boys cry I know how to help them. Sixty other kids cryingand it's not my responsibility, but get me out of there!

Seth played happily for three hours. I stayed for the first hour andthen left him to it. I think he happily pottered around, and there wasno evidence of him having spoken to anyone. Seth doesn't need anyencouragement to be quiet, and as lovely as the setting was, I figuredwe'd have a better time just the three of us.

In India

2010-06-10T23:13:00.002+05:30

In case you're thinking what a heartless husband Ollie is, not flying back to help me and the boys, I was fine with it. Really!! Writing this book on India was always going to be a pressure on our little family. Publishing advances aren't what they were ten years ago, and we moved half way around the world from Argentina where we were really happy and settled to living all together in one room. With India only offering six month visas Ollie's racing to finish his research (he will reapply for another visa in September, but it's too costly to bring us all back here. So he'll travel alone and have seven weeks working flat out). So I prefer him to keep going, rather than rush back to us every time I have a meltdown.

It's not been an easy six months, but I don't regret it for a second. As cliched as it sounds, the difficult experiences are the most rewarding. India has been infuriating and baffling, but it seeps into you somehow, so slowly you discover it's not as alien as it once felt and it becomes your world. My experience is pretty limited, but I know when I step off the plane in Buenos Aires it never feels like it's 15 hours away from home, it just feels so familiar and it's not of pressing importantace what is happening elsewhere or how far away those places are. Arriving in India (and I've only done that twice) I couldn't feel more different. I wanted to shout, what is this place?! It's like there's the whole world out there and then there's India. The time it takes to feel like this is the place, and for the rest of the world to diminish in immediate significance takes so much longer, I've found. But I think the people who can really get to that point, can live here and really appreciate and revel in this crazy, fascinating and wonderful country. I'm not there yet. Does this make any sense? bear with me...I'm still in a fog from the flu.

Viva Vijayawada

2010-06-10T00:11:00.003+05:30

Ollie is in Vijayawada this week. You've probably never heard of it, but it has a population of just under 1 million. It's16 hours away by train from Bangalore (or one hour by plane, but funds are starting to run low...).

Ol has posted some awesome photos from his visits to slums and orphanages in Vijayawada. Tonight he's staying at a childrens home and school that my Dad helped set up.

www.oliverbalch.blogspot.com

Black hole Bangalore

2010-06-09T23:50:00.004+05:30

The last few days have passed in a blur. I've been trying to fight through flu and care for Seth and Bo who have it even worse than I do. I won't bore you with the details, I'm too exhausted to write much anyway. Hopefully we're through the worst and tonight I'll get to sleep more than 15 minutes at a time without one of the boys waking up crying or having a coughing fit.

Sadly, the flu hit us last Wednesday, so Sethie missed his last days at Apple Kids and Bo cried his way through his final day with Sreeja and Usha.

Goodbye cuddles with Sreeja

Too spaced out to smile, Sethie says farewell to Chechi and Apple Kids

Seth and Bo link arms in solidarity ("Ugh. Why do they keep moving us from place to place? And don't they realise that we are ILL??").

Somehow we made it to Bangalore, and collapsed in a heap.

Out of action

2010-06-04T18:05:00.000+05:30

Seth, Bo and I have flu and are lying around the room like dead flies. Blogging to resume from Bangalore.

Playgroup pampering

2010-06-03T14:53:00.002+05:30

We fly to Bangalore on Saturday and our hope is to find a nursery or playgroup for Seth on Monday. The extreme heat and all the changes, we think it's good for him to have a place he goes each day and can play with other kids.

Ollie's schoolfriend Danny has a sprawling family in Bangalore who enjoy fussing over Ol (and it's fair to say, he quite enjoys them fussing over him). They've already called round several nursery schools and asked on our behalf if Seth could join for three weeks. The Principal at First Steps Nursery, we've been informed, would be delighted to welcome Seth on Monday morning.

I checked out the website of First Steps.

There is ample play area for children to run around and explore. Thereis a large Jacaranda tree, flowering bushes, with butterflies flittingaround. The presence of ducks and other fowl fosters feelings ofcompassion in the little ones.

Sounds great!

Then there's a wonderfully random line:

Two elderly ladies who have been coming for over ten years now, purelyfor their love of the place and children provide a sense of security inthe little ones.

Ok, so two grannies wander in off the street every day and hang out on the bench watching the kids...
Here's the explanation, quite sweet really.

This special feature of the school where children, the elderly,aminals, ducks and other fowl co-exist in harmony, representsinter-dependency, where each benefits by the presence of the other.

I'm digging the next paragraph though:

For the mothers there is ATMASPARSH a spa located onthe roof top, which is a serene oasis in the heart of the city, yetaway from the madding crowd. After dropping their wards in schoolmothers can visit the Spa to refresh, rejuvenate, the mind, body andsoul.

Gotta love that!

They even have a social conscience:

Apart from curriculum First Steps believes in reaching out tothe less fortunate by hosting an annual charitable event the proceedsof which are donated to 'Navchetana -a home for the aged and mentallychallenged' and several other deserving causes. We believe that alittle thought, kind actions, go a long way in removing the lonely fromwithin tired hearts and it revives in them a sense of belonging andmeaningfulness in life.

Hear, hear! And if I was in any doubt, they endorse the above with an extract from the Bible, the Gospel of John, no less:

“For, in the twilight of life God will not judge us on ourearthly possessions and human successes, but how well we have loved” By St. John

Monday morning I'm there.

One Day in Cochin

2010-06-03T13:42:00.000+05:30

We watched 'One day in Cochin' on Tuesday evening, and it was really very good.

Here's the blurb:

ONE DAY IN COCHIN interweaves nine narratives set in Fort Cochin on the Malabar Coast in South India. The characters, living in or passing through FortCochin, win, love and lose. But whatever their destiny, they are allenriched by what they learn along the way.

Alameen's family lost the precious little they had in the tsunami. Buteven a tragedy on that scale could not diminish the littlepopcorn-seller's never-say-die spirit.

Anna is a journalist in search of the story that will make a differenceto her city. A city that every day seems to edge towards anenvironmental disaster.

Abdul Azeez is a tourist guide who has shown visitors 'God's OwnCountry' for decades. But when will he find his own 'Jammat'; hisheaven?

Elena and Jean-Marie are a French couple settled in Fort Cochin withtheir two-year-old son. Elena sees little point in continuing what shedoes after a particularly ill-fated day, until she gets a lesson inpersistence from Alameen.

Jack Chance, a broker in the Iraq 'Oil for Food' scam, is on the runfrom the West. But it seems unlikely that he will find the anonymity heseeks if he leaves it in the hands of the two local, and very inept,property agents.

James and Catherine are tourists whose paths cross. Perhaps they can each give a little of what the other is looking for.

Pip, of Indian and British parentage, is in Fort Cochin to trace herroots. Will a chance encounter with an old Englishman, who has spentmost of his life in Kerala, ground her?

Cruising couple Bill and Cristelle decide to take separate tours of Fort Cochin when the QE2 docks. But is that wise?

Chitra meets foreign couples every day as part of her work at the smartBrunton Boatyard hotel. If she's learnt anything, it's that one mustfind one's own life partner. Or is the traditional way better after all?

One day in Cochin; everything can change in a day.

It's surprisingly engaging for a film without a clear plot, helped I suppose by us being familiar with all the locations and some of the characters. Seth watched it with us and hardly blinked. There are some funny moments, but mostly we enjoyed it because it was so representative of here and the rhythm of daily life. It shows the charm of the place, but gives a flavour of the daily struggles of locals and the attraction of Fort Cochin for people from outside. If we had one small criticism we'd have like to have seen more local characters. After watching it though, we both realised we do have a fondness for Fort Cochin. It helped us see more clearly how it fits together, and that there is an order in the chaos, and a community which is quite special.

Here are some clips that I found on You Tube:

One Day in Cochin clip: Introducing Philippa
One Day in Cochin: Introducing Abdul Azeez
One Day in Cochin: Introducing Alameen
One Day in Cochin: Introducing Elena
One Day in Cochin: Introducing Jack Chance

It was pleasant surprise to run into Tom Peirce, who wrote, produced and directed the film, at Teapot on Wednesday morning. We've only met briefly on two occasions previously, but I stopped and had a cup of tea with him and chatted about the film.

Tom is heading up to Calcutta at the weekend for the Indian Premiere of One Day in Cochin.

World Cup Fever

2010-06-03T12:51:00.000+05:30

This morning I nipped into Preethi Stores on Princess Street to stock up on bottled water. As I stepped out onto the street I thought I heard the rickshaw drivers talking about Argentina. Surely not? I think about the place so much I've started hearing it... Mostly, when I tell rickshaw drivers that we live in Argentina, in South America, they start talking to me about the United States. But of course, it's World Cup time, and suddenly everyone knows Argentina, even rickshaw drivers half way around the world in India. So when I told them that Seth was born in Argentina and that he has an Argentine passport there were cheers all round. Seth dosed up on Calpol started out of the tuk-tuk wondering why all these nutty men were giving him high-fives and shouting 'Yay, Argen Tina!' at him.

Life on the Parade Ground

2010-06-03T12:36:00.003+05:30

View of Delight Homestay from Parade Ground

I am really enjoying experiencing Cochin from a different location. For one week we're in Fort Cochin proper, staying at Delight Homestay on the Parade Ground. It's such a lovely spot, and a great place to really soak up the village feel. I keep running into the same people again and again, I can walk everywhere, there's a big open green space right, like a village green, right outside our front gate. We even have a white sort-of picket fence!

This fabulous tree is outside where we're staying. You can't see so well, but all the branches are covered in a kind of grass, like it has tonnes of furry green arms. One thing I'll remember from Cochin is that is has some seriously cool trees.

Delight Homestay, our home for one week. Our room is the one at the front on the ground floor. We have a little porch where we can sit out and look the beautiful garden. The smell of jasmines reminds me of summer in Buenos Aires.

I keep bumping into my Swiss friend Binia, who also wanders around aimlessly in the heat with 1-year old Anna, just like I do with Bo. There really isn't much to do in this place! Now that Kashi cafe has closed, there's a gathering of all the usual Kashi morning coffee suspects at Teapot cafe. In the evenings, we've been eating at Dal Roti, just 2 mins walk away from Delight, along with everyone else in the town, as barely anywhere else is open now the tourist season is over.

Ramesh, the cheery owner of Dal Roti, who I think doesn't care if he has no other customers, just as long as Bo shows up every evening! This is Bo riding his clay cow in the middle of the restaurant.

The tuk-tuk drivers are all desperate for business now the town is so quiet. Jitu, the friendliest and smallest driver in town always seems to pop up out of nowhere, grinning with his mouthful of crooked teeth, and offering us 'a very good price'. How could we resist?

Sauna sickness

2010-06-03T12:02:00.001+05:30

It feels like we're living in a sauna. After several false alarms, the monsoon officially hit south Kerala early this week. But STILL we're just having big summer storms and not the full on monsoon rains that we're longing for. Step outside and within minutes we're dripping in sweat, and it's so hot and muggy that it's really quite difficult to find motivation to do anything. Even our latest trip to the pool was a disappointment because we jumped into the water and it was like a hot bath!

It's not surprising then that Seth is ill with viral flu. Humidity levels have been above 97% for the last month, and it feels so unhealthy. Seth's had a raging fever for two days and was up last night coughing terribly and crying. He's off school for his second to last day and is snuggled up to me fast asleep. I feel pretty achy and have the same sore throat I've had for four months.

Actually, I haven't been well for a while. I did not survive the pakora experience last week. Ugh, don't even want to think about it, but I had to go to the hospital the nausea and stomach was so bad, and they gave me a shot to relieve the nausea. Got it out of my system eventually but you don't want to hear about that! And dhal obviously isn't good enough substitute for all that steak I eat in Argentina because I'm seriously anemic too.

I think we're all going to be happy to be on that plane home in less than a month, and having a change of air and diet, and doing some exercise. We're heading to the Netherlands for just over a month, where Ollie will write up his research from south India and I'll cycle around North Brabaant with the boys in tow.

Tuk-tuuuuuuuuuuk!

2010-06-01T12:42:00.000+05:30

Wave-watching, beachcombing

2010-06-01T12:35:00.000+05:30

Anticipation

2010-06-01T00:42:00.002+05:30

A problem with Ollie going away regularly is that Seth now thinks Papa has left for a while even if he's just nipped out to buy nappies and will be back in 5 minutes. Seth doesn't have a concept of time (or travel to a destination...he seems to think Pa flies around around Cochin for weeks at a time, and waves 'hiya Papa' at every passing plane or helicopter!) so it's hard to explain he'll be back tomorrow or in a week, or not for a fortnight.

When Ollie's due to return from a trip I tell Seth that when he wakes up Papa will be there. So on Saturday out of bed he hopped, picked out some smart togs from the ironed pile, and once dressed he went and stood on the doorstep. I found him standing there whispering 'papa....papa...papa' with such anticipation. Of course Papa wasn't due back for a while and his little legs grew tired, so he went and found a seat and sat there swinging his legs.

By the time Ol arrived, in an 'Ambasshhada' (double excitement) Seth was pretty tired from waiting and in a serious mood and with a semi-glazed look.

He found just enough energy though to show pff his latest trick of walking the length of the garden border without falling off.

Our room at Sui House was all packed up so we dropped Ol's bags and headed out for a walk, with Seth kindly pushing Bo so I could hold hands with Pa.

Ditches and dogs were a bit of a hazard though, so hand-holding was short-lived, and Bo seemed happy to have Papa back too.

Like father, like son

2010-05-31T23:19:00.000+05:30

If you're happy and you know it bang the tray

2010-05-31T22:39:00.002+05:30

We're seriously concerned about Bo's face. It's gotta hurt grinning all the time like he does. And his mouth is out of proportion with his face so when he smiles, his mouth opens so wide half his face disappears. This is him tonight at Dal Roti banging on the tin tray that owner Ramesh gave to him to play with.

Talking of Bo, he's walking! and very chuffed with himself to be doing so. You can imagine his huge beaming smile as he proudly toddles forward. He also has some words: 'cat' which he says over and over as he chases the cat at Sreeja's, 'Set' for his hero Seth, and 'ta' ('give' in Malayalam) which he repeats when he's reaching for something + mama, dada etc.

My baby is growing up! The jolly little chap turns one on June 11.

Colours of Cochin

2010-05-31T22:05:00.001+05:30

Sunday evening sunset at the beach at Fort Cochin

Kashi farewell

2010-05-30T21:22:00.002+05:30

Kashi Cafe closed today, to give all the staff a month off and to do annual renovations of the building. We went for our last brunch at the spot that's been a little oasis for me over the last four months. Seth was asleep in the Maclaren and Bo was whisked off as always by the kitchen ladies, so we had a breakfast date.

Owner Dorrie turned up while I was drinking my pot of green tea and Ollie his iced coffee, so we chatted with her and stayed almost to the end at 3pm. As we're leaving I asked her the recipe for the scrummy cucumber and mint juice they serve at Shala (peeled cucumber, generous handful of mint, juice of one lime, crushed ice, sugar syrup) and the Kashi omelettes - I reckon I've eaten 60+ of them in my four months here (she fluffs up the egg mix, whisking even while pouring into the frying pan).

This is Dorrie with some of her awesome staff, who have enthusiastically entertained Seth (that's the waiting staff, all boys) and cuddled and fed watermelon to Bo (that's the ladies who bake, cook and wash) and decorated him with bindis on his forehead and flowers behind his ears. A huge thank to each one of the Kashi staff.

As well as getting our fix of veggies and fresh food with things like pumpkin soup and beansprout salad, Kashi has done wonders for Bo's immune system. He's spent hours crawling around the place eating fistfuls of earth and munching on leaves. Seth runs around like the cafe is his, handing out menus and playing with the water pump.

Kashi Cafe we'll miss you!
(Won't miss this heat though, as you can see, we're all drenched in sweat in this photo! ugh!)

Sunday afternoon on Vypeen Island

2010-05-30T20:36:00.000+05:30

Boat to Vypeen Island

2010-05-30T20:25:00.001+05:30

Stuck for an idea of what to do today we took the boat across to Vypeen Island again.

We saw dolphins playing in the water and a huge ship passed right by us. As always we were crammed in between hoards of people, cars and scooters.

One of the good guys

2010-05-30T19:49:00.000+05:30

We've spent a lot of time in the office of Jose Joseph, a travel agent who has an office on the corner of Princess Street. Ollie's booked all his flights and train tickets via Jose. He is efficient, smiley and warm, and really knows how good customer care leads to customer loyalty. Ol can call him from Mumbai and ask him to book a ticket and Jose won't ask for payment until Ollie is back in Fort Cochin.

Jose has even very kindly offered to store our luggage while we go to Bangalore for three weeks (the baggage allowance for internal flights is very low, so we're just taking one bag). Although he did warn us they need to be wrapped in thick plastic so they're not attacked by rats!

Seth is very at home in Jose's office. He strides in shouts 'hiya', holding up his right palm, and then asks Jose to put the TV on so he and Bo can watch. Both boys are fascinated by cricket. Here they are in utter silence watching the Rajasthani Royals.

Photo pause

2010-05-28T23:07:00.001+05:30

My blog has been a bit text heavy this week, sorry. We're into our last week in Cochin so I'll snap away and get some colour back into this blog.

Mad dogs and and English woman

2010-05-28T22:47:00.001+05:30

PAPA! returns tomorrow. Today he travelled five hours by bus from Hassan to Bangalore, arrived at 10pm and is staying with the aunt of his school friend Danny, before flying back to Cochin tomorrow morning.

Seth and Bo's Saturday treat with Pa is a visit to the Mad Dogs Trust, an animal shelter run by an English lady, Penny, who we've met a couple of times. As I'm petrified of dogs, especially mad ones, I'm going to head to the pool for some midday sun.